Initials
by Kyrza E. Green
Summary: Why Loki really picked Clint. Or, why you shouldn't make fun of Loki's initials. Learn from Clint's mistake, folks. BONUS CHAPTER: why Loki really threw Tony out the window.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers, if I did Loki would have won.**

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Out of nowhere the portal flashed open and out came a man.

_What on earth? _Clint wondered.

The stranger was still kneeling on the floor when Director Fury ordered, "Sir, please put down the spear."

_Bad idea, _Clint noted, watching warily as the men the defied the laws of physics and practically flew through the air and took down many agents without even breaking a sweat. _How is that even possible!?_ He thought incredulously. _These are trained SHIELD agents, they can't be put down so easily…_

"I am **L**oki **O**din-**L**ayfeyson –and no I am not called that because Odin and Laufey got hitched—and I am burdened with glorious purpose," The stranger, Loki, spoke.

_**L**oki **O**din-**L**aufeyson? Wait a moment…_

"Loki, brother of Thor?" Selvig asked surprised.

Clint suddenly snorted. "LOL? Laugh out loud, seriously? You do realize that no one's going to take you seriously, right? I mean, with initials like that, what were your parents thinking? Was it like a tribute to the whole god of mischief thing?"

Loki twitched (or was he imagining it?) and turned his gaze upon Clint, and smiled a cold, chilling smile. "They weren't," he answered silkily, "In fact, no one so far has ever gotten the joke. I think you should be rewarded for that."

Remember the bad feelings you get when you're in a really bad situation, like about to be flayed alive bad? Yeah, Clint was getting one of those. He shivered. "Uh, thanks, but no thanks. I think I'll pass."

"Oh no, you must. It would be horribly rude of me if I let this good deed go unrewarded," Loki hissed. And with that, he turned the scepter's power onto Clint.

_And that, my dear readers, is the real reason Loki picked Clint; not because he has a heart. Because in case you didn't notice, we all have a heart._

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**For every time you don't review, Loki ends up dying.**

**You know it's wrong, so review, review, review!**


	2. Chapter 2

"-there's no version of this where you come out on top. Because, admit it, no one is going to accept a ruler who has the initials of LOL. Really, they'd just star laughing out loud as soon as they heard it. I mean, _I _certainly did," Tony rambled on rather brightly.

Loki, apparently, did not appreciate this and burst into tears. "Why does everyone have to keep bringing this up?!" he wailed, "It's just not fair, I mean it's not my fault that both my biological and adoptive parents had such a horrible naming sense." Saying this, he continued to sob uncontrollably.

Seeing this, Tony felt rather bad. He hadn't meant to make the god of mischief cry like that. Who knows what Thor might do if he found out? The guy was scarily overprotective of his brother. Honestly, he needed to get a better control of his mouth. Who knows, if he didn't, one day he might just end up giving a nuke a piggyback ride. Probably not though; he wasn't that suicidal.

Tony moved closer to the Norse deity and awkwardly tried give him a hug. "Hey look, I'm sorry. I didn't think it would affect you that much. I won't mention your initials anymore."

Loki made a swift, almost unnoticeable movement and Tony found that the Glowstick of Destiny and his Arc Reactor were suddenly close enough to be kissing. He shuddered_, now that's a disturbing image_. He quickly took a step back and averted his eyes in time to observe that Loki's sly smirk was quickly turning into a frown. Loki tapped the Arc Reactor again with the Scepter of Eternal Doom.

"This usually works," Loki tried to explain.

"Performance issues," Tony shrugged, "Everybody has them."

"Not me," Loki replied darkly.

Tony started to say something then paused, then frowned as if realizing something. "You tricked me!" he accused.

Loki merely arched an eyebrow. "I'm the Trickster; what did you expect?"

"Well-"

"Your blasphemy of my name cannot go unpunished. Therefore I have decided to throw you out a window."

"Huh? Wait a second—SAVEE MEE JARVIISSS!"

And that, my lovely readers, is why Loki really threw Tony out a window.

******I dedicate this chapter to those who reviewed that last chapter: Aquamarine, melissamcginnis3, MakeBelieveToAchieve, madscientistavenger**

******(I apologize for leaving out the period, but the name kept disappearing whenever I included it)**

**You wouldn't be reading this, but I got an amazing review from someone which told me I made her day. So you get this chapter because of that. **

**LEAVE A REVIEW AND I SHALL LOVE YOU FOREEEVERRRR!**

**-kyrza**


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